Oolau's E-Journal

Srubowe

2012-01-13T20:04:00.000-08:00

I made this collar out of 3/8ths grade 5 coarse thread nuts.

Moda

2012-01-13T19:58:00.000-08:00

More photos of Shelagh. I should stop taking pictures with her, because there are too many!!! BUT NOOOOOOOOO!!!! We just keep taking good pictures so I keep having to!! Darn...

Anyways, more awesome pictures with Shelagh!

I Never Look Classy: A Florida Travelogue in 33 Parts: Part 18: What? I'm Back in Canada?

2011-12-13T17:35:00.000-08:00

Oh. Okay. I guess I'm back in Canada now.

Hrm.

Well... I guess that's it for the travelogue! Thank you to everyone for following along.

There wasn't really a whole lot that happened in the last few days while we were there, nothing to write home about. Or write on the internet, either. I did watch "The World is Not Enough" which wasn't the greatest, but whatever.

I'm glad to be back on this side of the border.

We ate at a Waffle House on the way back because I wanted to see if it was the same as I remember (it was: relatively okay).

Then we drove.

Hooray!!!

:)

~Erik

I Never Look Classy: Part 17: From Florida With Thunderballs

2011-12-07T19:37:00.001-08:00

In the past couple of days I have watched a bunch more of the earliest James Bond movies and here are a few more thoughts about them.

From Russia With Love:

Following James Bond's defeat of Dr. Julius No in the previous film, the terrorist organization SPECTRE is out for REVENGE AND SUCH. So far I think that this might be my favourite of the James Bond films that I have seen of the early films.

The film continues with Sean Connery and it feels almost like an episode of television instead of a movie. The stakes in this film seem very low-key and almost against the formula that the rest of the James Bond films were made from, including Dr. No.

Even in the very first movie there is an underground lair, miles of henchmen and large contraptions such as the fire-breathing dragon swamp buggy thing. In From Russia With Love there is very little aside from James Bond, an alluring Russian agent, a bunch of nefarious characters, a train, and ESPIONAGE (not the kind of espionage that you do with machine guns attached to your car.)

The fight sequence between Bond and his villain near the end of the movie is superb, and even myself was surprised at the rough nature of some of the licks thrown out by both of the two men. Apparently the scene took three weeks to film.

All in all a very solid film that is, in my opinion, much more of a "spy" film than any of the other large and flashy movies in the series.

Goldfinger: Speaking of flashy, here we are. That's not to say that Goldfinger was a bad movie, but it definitely set the mold from which most films in the series would be cast from.

Auric Goldfinger (HILARIOUS NAME) likes gold and is doing stuff to get more of it. He is helped by Pussy Galore (what was Ian Fleming thinking of?).

One of the things that I think is just bizarre about the first few films in the series is, as I've mentioned, the pacing. In Goldfinger the "heist" part of the movie starts about 20 minutes from the beginning, and things run along until 60 seconds before the end, then Bond and his surviving Bond Girl smile and drop out of frame while "THE END" is displayed.

The set designer is in top form, bringing back the "underground lair" style of design from Dr. No, this time used in Goldfinger's ranch in the United States, and the interior of Fort Knox.

I kind of wish they still made the sets like this, three walls with a missing 4th wall like old film sets, plays and sitcoms. Something about it is really interesting, but maybe that's just me.

--

I also watched Thunderball, but I'll get to that another day. I'm having quite a bit of fun relaxing and doing a bit of writing.

In the meanwhile, Slainte.

I Never Look Classy: Maybe Now I Get Boring While You Get Jealous

2011-12-05T10:21:00.001-08:00

So for the past few days, nothing has really happened of importance. Nothing really to write about, nothing really to comment on.

Except that American Netflix is awesome :)

I've been watching James Bond movies with the guys down here, having some laughs and I figured maybe I'd share a few thoughts about the ones we've watched so far.

Goldeneye: Pierce Brosnan is my favourite James Bond, but I wonder why this is. I grew up during his era of Bond films; I even saw 'Tomorrow Never Dies" and "The World Is Not Enough" in theatres when they came out.

Do people who grew up during Roger Moore's tenure as James Bond regard him as the best Bond? I wonder.

Goldeneye feels very much like an older movie to me, and that's one of the things I like about it. It feels like it has succeeded from the cinematic lineage that had been moving forwards from that time. They certainly don't light movies the same way any more and the way the film stock looks is interesting.

Tomorrow Never Dies: Bond gets to use his car this time. I specifically remember loving this film in theatres, but I think I was 11 or something at the time, so what did I know.

I don't know if the film stands up as well as it could have, but I still liked it, even now.

Dr. No: I watched this movie last night and there was one thing that I found remarkable about it: it was one of the slowest, strangely paced films I had ever seen. I tried my darndest to put myself in the mind of someone seeing it in the 60's when the style of film making was very different, and after some time I found myself relaxing and my brain matching the pace of the film, which in comparison to todays films is very slow.

Have films increased in Tempo over the past 50 years? Maybe so.

I do admire the way the film was made, the camera angles, the reliance on the acting as opposed to camera cuts. I kind of wish movies were still made like this, as if they were almost stage plays that somebody filmed.

I watched it on Netflix and it was an HD transfer, so it looked amazing. On the screen some of the shots looked almost as if they had been filmed fora contemporary movie taking place in the 50's or 60's.

I also had to remember my history to figure out a part of the plot; this movie was made before the moon landing, in a time when NASA was doing rocket tests, and that one thing was important to remember. It also took place in a time when Atomic and Nuclear energy probably wasn't understood by the general public, and seemed fantastical.

One of the things I am going to enjoy about watching the older bond films is the set design for the various lairs that belong to the supervillains. Something about the way people used to think the future would look like is awesome.

--

So not much has been happening, but I've been relaxing and the weather outside is pretty good :) I hear that it has been snowing for realsies this time up in Canada, and the only thing I can say to that is:

*singing* It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas....

Oh, and also: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!

I Never Look Classy: Part 16-and-a-Half

2011-12-02T12:30:00.001-08:00

HOLY SHIT IT'S DECEMBER!!!!

It's 28 degrees or something here.

:)

I Never Look Classy: Part 16: 48 Slaughtering Hours

2011-12-02T12:19:00.001-08:00

I've gotten into "Dead Rising" in a big way. It's a vidja game about killin' your self some zombies, and that's about all I've been doing in the past couple days.

It's a relatively solid game, with a couple of minor technical issues. The thing I like the most about it is that it isn't a short game, I've sunk at least 30 hours into the thing by now and I don't think I'm more than 60% done. Which is a good time to dollar spent ratio on the entertainment.

When not doing that there has been a lot of reading "The Count of Monte Cristo," which is a LONG ASS BOOK. I've been reading pretty solid for a couple weeks now and I'm about 40% through. I might get it done by the end of the trip, and if that is the case I'll probably post a critique or something about it here.

--

The one thing we did find in the past two days was an awesome Cuban restaurant with authentic and delicious and cheap Cuban food. The name?

Cuban Restaurant.

I don't get business names down here.

It was there that I had my first Medianoche Sandwich (translates to Midnight Sandwich. It is quite similar to a Cuban sandwich, but the bread is a sweet and soft egg bread which is crisped in a press before serving.

The awesome and large sandwich was $4.99. That plus a beer and fries came to a total of $9.

Scrumptious.

--

Regarding the time-scale of these blog posts, each post is approximately one day, save for this entry which covers two boring days where we just relaxed and ate cuban food and swam.

Cheerio!

I Never Look Classy: Part 15: Cuban Sandwiches are Delicious

2011-11-30T18:09:00.001-08:00

So, it turns out that Cape Coral is where old people go to die.

I don't really have anything to add to that statement, just something that I noticed and figured I would share that.

--

Miami.

The City of Angels.

We were going back to Miami. (Actually, most of us hadn't been.)

The morning started early as we left Cape Snore-al (it's boring, get it?!?!?) and drove on the interstate.

We eschewed the use of the highway to get to downtown and instead decided to drive through the city streets from the outskirts near the airport until we reached our first stop of the day, The Bal Moral Shoppes. The Mal Boral Shoppes is basically where people with too much money divest themselves of some of it in the search for designer label clothing.

There was a dress that we saw on a rack, not much but a few wisps of sparkling cloth. It's price tag?

DOLLAR SIGN SIX THOUSAND, NINE HUNDRED AND NINETY FIVE.

$6995.

Plus tax. Oh, but there was a sale. 33% off.

--

We ate at one of the cafes in the mall. It was there that I first tasted a Cuban sandwhich. I don't know how authentic it was, but it was delicious.

Ham and Pork on crispy cuban bread with pickles and sauce. It was very delicious. I would have ordered a second, but it was $11.

After that, Derrick and myself left Clovis and Adam to the fancy pants mall and decided to go for a drive to Miami beach.

It was a bit of a cloudy day in Miami, but as we arrived at the beach it started to clear up. We stood in the water and stared at the ocean for a bit. After about 20 minutes we figured it was still kind a cloudy and the beach was deserted (minus two old ladies), so we bailed and drove around looking for a place to eat dinner a bit later.

Along the way back to the Mall, we noticed that we were using our knowledge of Grand Theft Auto: Vice City to help us get around Miami. That game was set in a fictionalized version of Miami, and we were shocked to see how accurate the game portrayed the real city.

We drove past the alleyway where you get missions from some sketchy guy near the start, we saw the part of the city where your first save point was, stuff like that.

Good times.

--

An odd thing we saw at the Bal Moral Shoppes. Well, not odd, but something I'd only heard about, and it was cool.

Walking around the mall at a very leisurely and provocative pace was a model wearing a ONE BILLION DOLLAR (not real figures) Designer Dress. This was her job, to walk around in it and show it off. She made slow laps around the second level, first in a coral pink dress, the second in a lime green dress with a fur mantle.

She was about nine feet tall and weighed approx. eleven pounds.

A stunning sight to see, but I hadn't thought we were in a place that would do that sort of thing.

--

Dinner was a bit of a trial, a long trek, a journey to a mythical place that A) serves food that doesn't suck and B) Does not cost $100 per person.

We decided to hit up the part of Miami where you stay in a hotel at the beginning of Vice City after you see your cousin and cohorts murdered. We actually pretty much found the exact hotel and decided to find a place to eat nearby.

I must warn you, do not go to Miami beach and expect to eat food at one of the hotels along there without knowing the following:

ONE) All of the hosts and hostesses along the strip of hotels are vipers and hucksters (Thank you Clovis for that one). Walking along the strip is like walking through a meat grinder where every single one of the establishments are REALLY FUCKING KEEN to get your business.

The first one we walked past said that if we stayed at his place he would give us a free round of drinks, then he gave us a little card with all the menu options. I was really jonesing for another Cuban sandwhich, and saw one on the menu for a reasonable price.

We decided to check out a few more places before settling one, and the Host of the place told us that he would give EACH of us FOUR drinks on the house. For a moment I thought that maybe this was a good deal, but then I realized that something was wrong if 16 alcoholic beverages were going to be given out to us for free.

We left, but deja vu overwhelmed us as the exact same thing happened at all of the restaurants along the strip.

They must have been hurting for customers.

Oh, that's it. There is no second thing.

--

We found a sushi place one street over, not on the strip. The sushi was pretty good, cheap, and we ate our fill.

On the drive home we stopped at McDonalds for ice cream.

A good day :)

I Never Look Classy: Part 14: Baby Back Ribs

2011-11-29T19:35:00.001-08:00

On Monday, there wasn't a whole lot to what we did.

We swam. We watched movies.

We ate at Chilli's, which in a sad way was one of the better meals we've had down here so far.

It was the first rainy day that we really had, which is a good thing to have happen in the second week.

A package from Amazon arrived with a $4 mouse for me to use with my laptop.

Aaaaand...

Oh yeah, Derrick set the BBQ on fire for a bit while making sausages.

Just a little grease fire, but still shocking to see through the patio window as I am playing a video game.

Anyways, relaxing was good. More updates to come.

Thrilling.

I Never Look Classy: Part 13-and-a-Half: Story Time!!

2011-11-28T11:37:00.000-08:00

Story by myself, Entitled "Whoopsie Doopsie Doo, I Killed You."

I wrote this in 2 hours and 13 minutes, from the start of when I sat down with a vague plot and two character names until I finished the final sentence. I started the exercise with ten minutes of plot brainstorming, an outline of the events, and then began writing.
No editing has taken place to the story since I finished the last keystroke when I wrote it.
It is probable that this needs some editing, but I do like it. With that in mind, enjoy.

Vanessa stood asher friend sat down on the white large black marble floor. Shewatched coldly as Stephanie hunched over with her forehead on theground and vomited her entire stomach contents on her dark wool skirtand black stockings.

The pale young manbehind the counter stood staring in bewilderment for a second at themess creating itself in the middle of his clean floor. After a fewseconds he remembered himself and rushed around the formicacountertop to kneel beside the sick woman.

ClutchingStephanie's purse, Vanessa turned and stepped out of the tiny coffeeshop. Her heels clicked on the worn beige tiles that made up thefloor of the subway station and, not 30 seconds after her friendcollapsed on the floor, making no breathing sounds, Vanessa haddisappeared into the warm rainy lights of the dark city.

–

“Do you rememberthat party,” Stephanie said viciously, “the one on the last dayof freshman year?”

“Of course Ifucking remember that party,” Vanessa spat back at her.

“Well, I have afew dark spots from that night. I remember doing shots with you earlyin the night. There was jello shots and then some other thingshappened, but the one thing that I do remember very clearly is beingin the hot tub with Franklin.”

Vanessa's eyesflashed with anger.

“Yeah, we wereall along. It was the hot tub on the porch of the master bedroom. Itdidn't even take that long before he was complaining about you. 'Oh,Vanessa? She can be a real stuck up bitch sometimes,'” Stephanieimpersonated Franklin with a flourished, over-emphasizing tone.“'Sometimes I wish that her and I had never gotten together.'”

“Shut up,”Vanessa hissed. She looked quickly around the small, empty coffeeshop and over to the barista behind the counter, but her had notnoticed anything. He was reading a fashion magazine with some youngthing on the cover. Dark hair and a pink ribbon wrapped tightlyaround her throat.

'Oh how I wish Ihad a ribbon wrapped around Stephanie's throat,' thought Vanessa.

Stephanie wascontinuing her story about Franklin in her cruel voice as if Vanessahad never said anything. She seemed to delight in twisting every wordas if they were knives in Vanessa's side.

“I spent thenight with him. We spent hours and hours just fuc-”

Vanessa grabbedStephanie by the wrist, pressing her long red fingernails into thetendons in Stephanie's carpel tunnel. Stephanie was cut-off midsentence, yelping in pain.

For the first timeshe noted the coldness in Vanessa's eyes as Vanessa glared at herfrom under her short black bangs, over the top of her delicateglasses.

“You know, Iactually knew about,” Vanessa said, pressing harder and encouraginganother sigh of pain out of Stephanie, whose expression of anger hadbeen replaced with one of fear. “I knew all about you and Franklin.That's actually one of the reasons that I was happy to take thisassignment.”

Stephanie tried topull back on her wrist, but Vanessa dug her nails in deeper. A smalltrickle of blood splashed against the wooden tabletop and leaving afew speckles on the folder file that Stephanie had in front of her.

Vanessa put afinger to her lips and shushed Stephanie gently.

“Now now, wewouldn't want our host to hear us,” she said, looking at the boredcollege student behind the espresso machine. “It was icing on thecake, actually. I was so angry at you when I walked in on you andFranklin in that hot tub. You were on top of him and it tookeverything I had not to run over and throw you off of that balcony.”

“You see,Stephanie, that day I made a vow, and the vow was this: 'I am goingto kill her.' Her meaning you, Stephanie.”

Stephanie wasfrozen, blood slowly oozing out from her wrist as Vanessa twisted itbackwards, all the while keeping her nails pushing further andfurther into the nerves in Stephanie's wrist.

“I never did seeyou after that. I mean, it was summer time and I ended up going awayfor the next seven years. Do you want to know where I went?”

“Please let go-”Stephanie stammered.

“Nope, that's notwhere I went. Actually, I went overseas. There was a recruitingprogram, and I had caught their eye. It turns out that they were veryinterested in me.”

“What- What doyou mean?”

“Well, I wasRomania, staying with my family for a few months over the summer. Thegroup was... as I had said, interested. In me specifically.”

Vanessa moved hermouth in such a way as to resemble a smile, but there was not a shredof mirth or happiness found there.

“I won't say muchabout the first few years, because really it's not becoming of a ladyto talk about that kind of place in polite company. It wasn't a goodplace, and they did not treat me kindly. I have scars from the firstfew times I tried to escape,” Vanessa sighed. “At one point theydid push me too far, though.”

“That's when theynoticed something else about me, Stephanie. I wanted to survive. Doyou want to?”

Stephanie made toreach into her purse. Vanessa yanked her wrist to the side.

“What are youlooking in there for, Steph? Your gun? When you were in the bathroomI stole it just in case you made a dumb move.”

Stephanie kickedout with the sharp heel of her shoe, aiming for Vanessa's instep, atthe same time yanking her torso backwards in order to break Vanessa'sgrip.

The pale man behindthe counter remained oblivious, listening to his headphones.

Vanessa let go asStephanie pulled back, leaving her own momentum carrying her offbalance, making her surprise move useless.

In a split secondVanessa had pulled out the small matte black pistol that had onceresided in Stephanie's purse.

“It doesn'tmatter, really, Stephanie, you trying that. Let me finish the storythough, before we settle up our 'account' so to speak.”

“They know I amhere,” Stephanie said, putting pressure on the wound on her wristto stop the bleeding.

“No they don't.You may be the aide to the Prime Minister, but they aren't followingyour every movement. And by the time you don't show up for worktomorrow, I will be long gone. Now, as I was saying, when I wasnoticed for a second time by the group I currently work for, it wasbecause they found me in a room with two dead and one blind man,covered in blood and a bootknife in my hand. That's when they decidedthat maybe I could be of use to them in other ways.”

Vanessa leaned inclose across the small circular table and whispered in Stephanie'sear.

“You're not myfirst, you know.”

Vanessa pushed thebarrel of the gun into Stephanie's abdomen.

“Bang,” shewhispered.

Vanessa leaned backand checked up once more on the clueless dude, now counting muffinsbehind the counter.

“It doesn'tmatter. I know you, and of course, just like in the old days, youordered the exact same thing every time. A cappuccino, it takes a fewminutes to make, and while you were in the bathroom I slipped just ataste of cyanide in your drink.”

Stephanie's eyeswidened in realization. “You fucking-” she gasped as she flungherself back from the table and out of the chair.

Vanessa watched asshe made it partway across the tiled floor before she stopped,clutching her stomach. Stephanie teetered as if on the brink ofstepping on to a train bound for parts unknown, before one of herheels twisted underneath her and she collapsed.

–

The lights in theconcrete ceiling swung ever so slightly as the vibrations fromanother subway train shook the minuscule coffee shop gently.

“That could getirritating,” Vanessa said with a smile, “but I guess it's luckythat we don't work here!”

Stephanie smiledback.

“You may not workhere, Vanessa, but sometimes I feel that I do. I come in here usuallyevery day before and after work. I am thinking of asking my boss fora raise, just so I can help pay for the coffee's that I get here.”

Stephanie sat downon one side of the small wooden table, Vanessa on the other.

“Would your bossdo that?”

Stephanie laughed abit, to herself more than anything.

“Well, he's anice guy, but a bit hair brained. I suppose it's to be expected, thePresident has been giving him a lot of hassle over this Conductionbill they've been trying to get passed into law. Either way, he isalso a big connoisseur of coffee, so I suppose the case could be madeto him.”

“You should doit! Even if you don't spend the money on coffee, it's always nice tohave a bit of extra cash around, if you can find the time to spendit.

“I guess.”

There was anawkward pause as Vanessa sipped her coffee and Stephanie looked tothe barista who was going through the process of still making hers.

“So what aboutyou?” Stephanie asked. “What are you up to these days?”

“Oh, you know,just working on a bit of- well, consulting is a good way of puttingit. I'm just in town on a bit of business.”

“You travel alot, I didn't know.”

“All over. Lastweek I was in Brussels, but the food was bad and the company-unwelcoming.”

“I wish that Ihad a chance to travel, I can barely see the sun shine here. Maybeone day I can make it down to the south, my 'Nan has a bit of acottage down there.”

“A bit of acottage? That sounds nice. Is it right on the sea?”

“Oh yes. I've hada weekends of fun and games down there, but with the new job andeverything I haven't been able to get away for the last 18 months.”

Vanessa nodded incommiseration.

“No rest for thewicked, I suppose.”

Another pause asthe two of them tried to bridge the gap that lay before them.

Stephanie watchedthe barista and Vanessa took a good look at her.

Her blond hair,long in high school and in freshman year was now cut short in thepopular fashion that was going around. Stephanie had put on a fewpounds since then as well, but it only served to round off her sharpfeatures and give her a more wholesome, grown up look.

The barista rattledthe espresso machine and twisted and pulled some of the dozens ofshiny brass levers and knobs that formed the shiny coffee denizenscountenance. Steam hissed out of somewhere on the machine.

Stephanie excusedherself to the bathroom for a moment while waiting for her coffee.

Another trainrumbled by and shook the small coffee shop again.

The baristafinished his work with the brass beast and placed the cappuccino onthe table across from Vanessa before retreating behind the counterand picking up something to read.

Vanessa pulled fromthe manila envelop a small vial of white powder.

The cappuccino hada flower pattern of steamed milk poured into the foam, the creamybrown and foamy white mixing along the edges and creating a verypretty marbled effect.

Vanessa sprinkledthe white powder on top as if icing sugar. The foam flattened andbegan to break apart.

Stephanie returnedfrom the bathroom, buttoning up her pea coat as she walked back overto the table.

“So,” saidStephanie, “how about the cinema on tuesday? I have a free nightthat day, perhaps we could go and see a film together?”

“That soundslovely. What films have come out?”

“I don't reallyfollow, but I am sure that we could see something.”

Stephanie sippedher cappuccino and Vanessa bared her white teeth in a somewhatpredatory smile.

“Okay. It's adate.”

“A date?”

Vanessa tilted herhead

“A plan, then.”

Stephanie noddedand sipped her drink again. Vanessa did the same and once again theawkwardness of two people who haven't seen each other in quite sometime was thick.

Especially that oneof them had just poisoned the other.

“So what everbecame of you and Alex?” Vanessa started.

“Alex? Oh, Ihaven't seen him since-- a long time ago? I think the summer offreshman year.”

“But you two wereso in love, weren't you?”

“Oh, I thoughtthat we were at the time,” Stephanie said, shaking her head. “Ithink that he was in love with me, but I was looking for someone abit more- exciting.”

“Exciting?”

“Oh, yes. Youremember how I was back then. Though now I've settled down a bit, myhusband actually works in the office across the hall from me. Aboring chap actually, but we still get up to a bit of funnow and then.”

“You're married? I hadn't heard.”

“Oh, yes, for three years now. He have a flat not too far from thecity centre.”

“My- well, congratulations.”

Vanessa thought back to the details inside the Manila envelope. Ithadn't contained any mention of a family.

“Hopefully,” Vanessa added, “this one lasts a bit longer thanAlex did.”

Stephanie's smile faltered at these words.

“What do you mean by that?”

“Well, you were a bit of a wild child if I remember correctly.”

“A'wild child?'”

“You know what I mean, Steph, it was barely a week that went bythat you didn't have some new young thing on your arm, and that'seven when you were dating Alex. He never knew because he was alwaysat his studio painting.”

“I never did anything with those other-”

Vanessa nodded in mock agreement.

“Of course you didn't,” Vanessa cooed.

Stephanie's cheeks flushed red and she shoved across the table,splashing some on one of the file folders that she had set in frontof her. She look around at the empty coffee shop to ensure that noone had seen her embarrassment.

The coffee shop was still empty, save for the barista reading hismagazine.

–

The subway train sped along the tunnel, lights flickering pastquickly. The evening train had very few people on it, and Stephaniewas sitting alone at the front end of the second car.

Every few seconds the lights in the car would flicker, butStephanie's attention was on her cellular in her hands.

She saw that she had two messages.

Thefirst was from her friend, Vanessa, saying that she was going to meether at the Alperton Tubestation, which is where Stephanie was headed.

The second was from her husband.

'Hun, I'll see you tonight. Make sure to bring those files home anddon't stay out too late, you know I worry ;)' said the text message.

Stephanie smiled to herself and looked once more at her purse and thefew file folders that she was carrying with her.

The new Conduction Bill that had been introduced was getting a lot offlak from some of the other parties in Parliament and Trenton, herhusband was worried about some sort of political attack, butStephanie didn't think so. She wasn't worried.

She checked in her purse once more for the two devices that she nowalways carried with her.

The first, a small Walther pistol, given to her by the Prime Ministerhimself not six months ago when she had become one of his chiefaides.

“These are dangerous times,” The Prime Minster had said.

Indeed they were, thought Stephanie as she checked the second device.

About the size of two decks of cards was a black box with a redbutton and a metal disk where something was made to go.

Taking the black device out of her purse, she mated the peculiarpattern on her wedding ring to the design in the device and turnedthe metal disk until it clicked.

“One can never be too careful,” Stephanie muttered to herself.She placed the timed incendiary device back into her purse, the timerreset for another 60 minutes. It nestled in her large purse besidethe sensitive computer drives that she had brought home with heralong with the paper files.

The conductor called out the next stop and Stephanie collected herthings.

“Alperton Station, Alperton Station,” said the conductor.

As the train slowed to a stop Stephanie saw her old friend aboutthirty metres away, sitting on a red plastic bench on the platform.Her hair was the same, dark and short, messy as if she had justgotten out of bed. She seemed thinner and taller than Stephanie hadlast seen, dressed in a pair smart leather boots and fashionable redleather coat with black buttons.

Stephani stepped off the train and began walking to her sittingfriend.

Vanessa pulled a yellow envelope from her purse and opened it, takingsomething out and looking at it. Even though Stephanie was relativelyfar away she could see that her friend was concerned for a moment.

'I wonder what that is about,' thought Stephanie, 'I'll be sure toask her about it after coffee.'

“Vanessa!” she called to her friend across the deserted tubestation.

Vanessa looked up and the two of them waved,

'Old friends,' thought Stephanie as she walked briskly across thewhite tile, 'some people never change.'

I Never Look Classy: Part 13: Blu Hard

2011-11-27T13:42:00.001-08:00

The water down here in Florida is as hard as concrete; cleaning soap off of yourself is a Herculean task the likes of which only Ancient Greek story writer dudes could have invented. Kind of annoying, but I find it quite frustrating.

I thought about this as we were sitting at the table for the Sushi restaurant, Blu Sushi. The water in the bathroom fell off my hands seemingly without touching my skin as if my hands were an outcast to shy away from.

But I digress.

The sushi was quite good. I had a few maki rolls but my friends were a bit more adventurous, with Adam going for a couple of different things culminating with quail egg sushi, which he was quite delighted with. I was concerned with the cost of the sushi; limiting myself to just two maki rolls and a bowl of miso, my bill came to almost $20. Had I actually tried to eat myself to the point of being full, I think my bill could have hit at least $80 or so.

Who knew fish was so expensive? That said, it tasted good.

--

I wrote in my previous blog post that I had begun to write a story and I would post it here along with how long it took to write.

Well, here is how long it took to write: 2 hours, 13 minutes.

I don't know if I can post it here, which is kind of a shame. If you are interested in reading a backwards, espionage story that is only five or so pages long, you can contact me somehow and I can send it over. Or, I might give the story it's own post. We'll see.

--

I did a photoshoot with a model I met down here in Florida, Zelphia. I'm going to be posting some of the photos when I get a chance, so stay tuned. Thank you to Zelphia for modelling!

G'day.

I Never Look Classy: Part 12: Vidja Games, Schmid-ma Games

2011-11-27T13:40:00.001-08:00

Though the day before was Black Friday (an event we didn't participate in because we don't need any flat screen televisions) I was keen to pick up a video game to help while away some of my free time down here.

Some might say "why did you go all the way to Florida to play video games when you can do that at home!?" and to them I would say "Airport-shmairport!!" After I said that I would probably say "because at home I can't play video games while one entire wall of my house is open to the outside and there is a pleasant breeze coming in and also I'm drinking cheap, delicious micro-brew beer!"

At that point the person would be so taken aback that they would literally disappear.

--

During the nightly midnight swim Adam asked me "Okay, how long would it take you to write a 5 page story then?"

I replied "One Hour."

He said that he was surprised.

"I am surprised," said he.

Don't be, said I. I'll do it when I get out of the pool.

Getting out of the pool I sat here, at my laptop, and started a stop watch. I spent the first ten minutes writing out the plot ideas and then I got write into it. (Ha! WRITE INTO IT!!! GET IT?!??!?!?)

I find that it is quite easy to simply churn out a story of such a short length, and was sure that I could complete it in the hour allotted.

Unfortunately I was wrong, I did not make the five pages in one hour that I had allowed myself.

I did make 3.5 pages in One Hour, and promised myself to complete the story the morning following. When completed I will post the story, and the time of completion. Look to that on tomorrows post of "I Never Look Classy! A Florida Travelogue"

Good night.

I Never Look Classy: Part 11: "Liquor," "Food" or "Blog Post"

2011-11-26T09:59:00.001-08:00

Our day started early with a romp in the pool. Around lunch we decided to go try our luck at the local sandwich shoppes and happened upon a place near our local coffee shop, the Paradise Cafe. Two amongst our group, Clovis and Adam were ready to try the Reuben, and in their words it "did not disappoint."

At our local coffee shop near us, a Starbucks, there is a managerial type, a fashionable young lady that we have taken to calling Jodie Foster. Alternately Tina Faye, as she was wearing a pair of sunglasses that gave off that impression. She has been our barista a couple of times so far and makes quite the Decaf IceD Venti Americano (D.I.V.A.) that Derrick likes so very much.

--

Another cultural thing I have noticed is the number of businesses that label themselves simply by what they do, or sell. I've seen signs around for places such as "Liquor" and "Chiropractor."

"Appliances."

"Massages."

"Smokes."

Maybe there just aren't enough possible names for businesses to sustain all of the shops down here? I don't know.

--

For dinner we sought out a classier style of restaurant. We all wore our best, me in my suit coat, my compatriots in elegant sweaters and fine shirts. Our journey took us over the toll bridge to nearby Fort Myers and we ended up at what appeared to be a golf and country club.

Our server was named Shaye, or Shaie or something along those lines, I never did get the spelling, and she made quite the impression on us.

We had good beer, I had a good burger, and also lobster bisque is delicious (I might try making it while I am down here.)

We talked to Shae and asked her about the local area; in her words the area we were staying in is "just a bunch of houses full of old people." In my experience we are staying in just that, a retirement community on the beach. No young people at all.

The meal completed we paid our cheques, plastic for Clovis and Derrick, cash for Adam and myself. I left a generous tip and we exited.

Upon arrival at home we began talking of things to do for the evening. Adam said he wanted to hit up an ice cream parlour while looking through his wallet. It DAWNED ON HIM at that moment that there was something amiss.

"Dude..." he started. "I think that I left our waitress a 58 dollar tip."

We all stared at him with expressions of bemusement.

"Yup. I had a 100, and I left the 50 from the change with her by accident."

Oop. I guess Shaeye was pleased with our group that night!

--

Later in the evening we drove around looking for some sort of fast food, but it turns out that everything closes really early here. We ended up at a Wendy's with, it seemed, every other person in the entire city, trying to buy some Junior Bacon Cheeseburgers.

Midnight swim, burgs, and sleep. That was the day.

Good.

I Never Look Classy: Part 10: It Would Be Nice, But For the Abundance...

2011-11-26T08:45:00.001-08:00

Thanksgiving.

Or rather, American Thanksgiving I should say.

Nothing really prepared us for this day. In truth, it kind of took us by surprise, even though we were well aware that this day was coming.

We had, ourselves, already had Thanksgiving about 6 weeks previous; turkey, potatoes, pumpkin pie, and in the case of my family, kapusta, perogi and barczcz (we Polish).

It all started when we were in the grocery store the day before, buying beer. The nice cashier asked us if we were stocking up for Thanksgiving, we replied in the negative and that we had already had it earlier in the year, and that we were from Canada. A pleasant conversation followed, but at this point I looked up from our checkout lane, and as if seeing the world for the first time, I realized what sort of hell we had unwittingly stepped in to.

Everywhere around us were last minute shoppers with grocery carts fit to bursting with boxes of food, turkeys and alcohol. It was even a wonder that we had gotten to the cashier when we did, by some miracle we'd arrived at the cashier just as she returned from a break or something, because there was no wait.

Around us, that was not the case. I looked around, bewildered. On my way out of the store I took to the sunny sky and brushed off the incident.

Returning to the Thanksgiving itself, we didn't really do much to celebrate. I wrote a blog post, we swam, we drank, we watched "Sons of Anarchy" Season 2. Things were great.

Until about 4:30pm. As is our custom, every day we go for dinner, or lunch at a local eatery. It dawned on us that it was the wrong day to plan on finding an open restaurant.

With haste we made for the care, sure that there was at least one place that would be open, no matter the circumstances: McDonalds. Alas, our search for McDonalds for dinner was in naught: they all closed at 11am that morning.

It dawned on us that there was little to be done. We said "fuck that!" and drove around looking for food.

After about 30 minutes it dawned on us that we had but two choices. These choices dawned on us as being bad.

It dawned on us we had very little choices.

Option 1: Sketchy Sports Bar.

Option 2: Chinese All You Can Eat Bouffetorium.

Option 3: Starve and Go Back to the House and Eat Sandwiches or Something.

We, in our most dire need went for Option 2.

---

My favourite of the dishes served at the Empire Buffetorium (not to say I had any, but just the name alone strikes mirth into the hearts of men) was "HAM-FRIED RICE." For some reason it tickles me.

Adam had the line that summed up the meal: "It would be nice, but for the abundance..."

I was relatively happy with what I got for my $TenBux, but my compatriots were less enthused. We vowed on that day to not go to any more Chinese Bouffets.

Writing, reading, relaxing, it was all had that day. Rockin'.

I Never Look Classy: Part 9: Italian Stallion

2011-11-24T08:23:00.001-08:00

Apparantly five stars down here does not equal a great restaurant.

So far I have had a number of fine dining experiences at almost all the establishments we have gone to for food (save for Ichiban. ICHIBAN!!!!). This is not the case with my friends, but I have been content thus far.

Or at least until we ran into an Italian Restaurant yesterday.

I myself had a pretty good bowl of spaghetti with meat sauce. I'm sure that I could have made better tasting pasta back at my house, but the sauce was pretty good. One thing that did concern me was the lack of knowledge of the ingredients to the food. One amongst our group has a serious food allergy but the staff could not recollect if there was dairy in the pizza dough.

Truth be told, the restaurant wasn't terrible. The service was a bit slow, but that is forgivable (also the wedding soup was amazing). My largest complaint is that I could have made better food at home, cheaper and without a whole lot of effort.

In the local area the restaurant was rated as five out of five stars. I wonder about that.

Rest of the day was reading, watching television and lounging by the pool.

Aww-yeah.

I Never Look Classy: Part 8: Thrift Seizure 2

2011-11-23T15:48:00.001-08:00

The day opened up like the part of a movie trailer where there is a giant whooshing lead-up noise right on a scene change and then everything is silent afterwards.

The outlet malls beckoned to us once more and we were powerless to resist.

There is little to say about the Dealz found that day, save for they were numerous and very... Dealzy.

The trunk of our trusty steed was full to the brim with bags.

Also, after a satisfying lunch of pizza from an italian restaurante, we got gelato, which is also awesome.

Swimming in the pool, reading books into the night, arranging for pictures with models.

Brilliant.

I Never Look Classy: Part 7: Burg Notice

2011-11-22T13:36:00.001-08:00

Made some burgers, swam in the pool. Watched some Sons of Anarchy and Burn Notice.

33 Degrees and sunny, Amaretto Sours and an afternoon nap.

Awesome.

I Never Look Classy: Part 6: Iguana Mia!

2011-11-21T09:49:00.001-08:00

Mexican food and myself have never been the best of friends. Something always seemed "off" about the ingredients and flavours. Whenever we cooked "mexican" food at our house it was always an imitation of the authentic food which, in all honesty, I still love despite the fact it has very little to do with the authentic cuisine. I have since learned what the defect was in all of the Mexican food I had tried.

Canada.

It might be the geographical location which precludes the best ingredients or the lack of cultural knowledge on how to cook the food properly, but it turns out that Mexican food is ten or twenty times better down here in Florida.

Twice we have eaten at a Mexican restaurant, twice I have been blown away by the food.

The most recent of these lunches was yesterday at Iguana Mia. If you are in the area I can't recommend the place strongly enough.

Aside from that its mostly been about watching Burn Notice, relaxing and drinking Amaretto Sours. Tomorrow we're going BACK TO THE FUTURE (where future is defined as the outlet malls) and might hit up the beach.

Meanwhiletime, Cheerio!!

I Never Look Classy: Part 5: Lord, Beard Me Strength

2011-11-20T11:47:00.001-08:00

A Saturday. Nothing to do but lounge by the pool.

After a few days I decided to shave the beard. We have the stages between beard and clean shaven here. Please, leave your zingers after the tone.

Dinner was Korean food at Origami. Bookstore afterwards. Midnight swim. Amazing.

I Never Look Classy: Part 4: Thrift Seizure

2011-11-19T17:40:00.001-08:00

The first full day of our stay in this humble mansion of ours came with a lack of anything important or significant happening. The sun came up, our eyes opened, we had showers.

Breakfasts were had, eggs were eaten, sleepy eyes were emptied of sand. Somewhere along the way decisions were made.

Outlet stores.

All of them.

Let the bodies hit the floor.

--

Let us take a moment to introduce the players, theDramatis personæ, if you will.

First, we have your narrator, myself, Dr. Erik Q Winchester, Photographizer extra-ordinare.

Second we have Derrick, a tall chap with a iron jaw and a zest for life. To describe him in a word, that word would be "Hard-Boiled."

Third, and kin to Derrick, is Clovis. His real name is a mystery to all but himself and those who gave him that name; in the minds of all others, he is a mystery. A slight man with a sharp wit, in a match of wits you would not be the odds on favourite.

Last, our man Adam, he with the soft spot for soft italian leather shoes and other finery. More on that in a moment.

Some names and locations may have been changed for reasons of hilarity.

The grey skies hung low, trapping the humidity close to my skin as we stepped from our chariot and entered the outdoor prominade that served as the beginning of the brick and mortar snake we were about to traverse, an obstacle course of Barginz and Sweet Sweet Dealz.

Our first stop was a Neil Gaiman's "Last Chance Repository" with ROCK-BOTTOM prices. Adam was on a quest for a Hugh Brauss shirt for under Two Hundred of These American Dollars.

Inside was his haven, a Field of Dreams. He found his Hugh Brauss
shirt for the low low price of $180. After a moment, I motioned for him to move in closely as to not cause commotion. Experienced at the "outlet gambit" I informed him that, because of a series of coloured dots, that shirt was actually 30% off of that price.

Adam stepped back as if thunderstruck.

"So, this shirt is... only $126??" He asked, conspiratorially, checking around for any listeners in.

I nodded solemnly and turned back to a selection of leather wallets I was scoping out.

Adam seemed satisfied, but I later learned that something had overcome him. Something primal.

Dealz.

The stress on Adam was further compounded not ten minutes later when talking to a sales lady about some fine leather shoes he was eyeing. Normally SIX HUNDRED FUCKING DOLLARS they were on sale for aound $200. The sales lady, whose name is embedded in Adam's brain for all eternity (but I can't be bothered to get it, he's on the other side of the house), the sales lady informed Adam that, if he were to pay today and return just a few days later, on Tuesday... everything he ordered would have an additional 50% taken off the price.

At this point Adam had a Thrift Seizure. He twitched and babbled thanks at the sales lady and with his eyes aflame, fueled the a raging desire for DEALZ, he turned to us. The rest of us three were wary of the look, but supportive.


Awesome. On sale for $899

When he walked out, he had $1500 of merchandise waiting to be picked up. I won't say the actual cost of the things he bought in REAL 'MERICAN DOLLARS but it was frighteningly low.

You hear that Ian?!?!? I got a NEW FUCKING WALLET. Take that!! :)

After that we got food at an awesome Mexican restaurant. We returned home with a box of cheap booze and mixed ourselves drinks and threw the football around in the pool.

We are happy so far. I bid you adieu.

I Never Look Classy: A Florida Travelogue: Part 3: Welcome to the Real World

2011-11-18T20:23:00.001-08:00

The night passed uneventfully, the morning was a grim sight to wake up to. Darkness and shadow reigned the parking lot, clouds of rain swelling up in preperation for a miserable day.

6am at a hotel means only one thing: Continental breakfast. Bountiful feasts of mediocre bacon and eggs at some hotels, at other lodging establishments, slim servings of miniature muffins and bruised bananas. Our hotel was firmly established in the nutritional wasteland of the latter.

A goop dispenser sat beside a plethora of disposable cups, each destined to be filled with said goop for 20 seconds, emptied, and thrown out. This goop was poured into a greased mold and turned over, emerging with a hiss from the cast-iron contraption as a soft, rather warm and slightly wet waffle. This waffle, my waffle, my creation, upon being pried from the maw of the metal beast earned me praise from the nearby breakfast czar. While ensuring the meager supplies were constantly and competently replenished she allowed me the praise of a "That's a mightah fine waffle yew've got thar!"

My reply?

"I've had practice." Then I slathered the waffle with syrup and ate every last bite. It was delicious in a very warm, sugary way. Done with it, I vowed to myself to eat healthier for the rest of the trip.

--

The next few hours we talked about Will Smith, his hopes, his dreams and our impersonations of him grew ever wilder. This was kept up until one of us declared that we were in Sonic country, and that a Sonic burger would be a thing to try. In all honestly, it was myself, the narrator, Erik who suggested Sonic, my earlier vow thrown to the dogs like a scoundrel.

Upon locating a Sonic in the middle of a sun-blasted rural village rife with bail-bond and typing services, we realized that we had no concept of the strange device in front of us: A Drive-In Order Board.

The board was a menu, on it were pictures of food and advertisements for specials. One was peculiar in its unabashed gluttony. "Drink More Pie."

How many pies is a good number to drink? My thoughts: None. More than none is some, and some is just one to many for Number of Pies Drank.

We were flummoxed, unsure of how to proceed. Did we go inside? No, employees only. Did we wait? Nothing happened when we did. Moments passed. Three of us hopped out of the car to study the board more closely.

There was a Big Red Button, the kind used to launch missiles. There was no instructions on or around the button to indicate it's use. We touched the button, unsure if it should be pushed, but eventually ventured forth.

Quickly we ordered our food and it arrived a few minutes later. Our server was a delightful stereotype of a kind southern lady. She noted our trouble with the menu board, we detailed our origin story from Canada, the drive, and our confusion with the idea of a Drive In Eatery.

She said something then, "Welcome to the Real World."

Was this the real world?

--

We made a pact, we four, before even spending moment one in the US of A.

"If you meet a girl in Florida who does not say Cal-adge instead of College, you marry her."

So far we four gentle sirs remain single and unbetrothed.

--

Who is more famous? Don Pardi, or Matt Heyes? This conversation took up several hours of our ride. The answer? Nobody knows.

Also, Biscuit World is real. I was a kid when I came down last and recalled a place called Biscuit World that we drove past. All you can eat biscuits and gravy for NINETY NINE CENTS.

NINETY NINE CENTS!!!!!!!

I shudder to think what corners were cut on the quality of the biscuits, the service, the establishment to make that a profitable business model.

--

Upon our arrival at the house we did rejoice. It is awesome, warm, has a pool and is all around pretty brilliant.

Great times were had this day. With that I bid you good night. More to come soon.

I Never Look Classy: A Florida Travelogue in 33 Parts: Part 2: Cross-Fire

2011-11-18T09:25:00.001-08:00

"What are four twenty five year old guys doing going to Florida for a month? Don't you guys have jobs?" said the disgruntled border agent.

Hardly older than we in the car, the border official glared at us with such contempt; it was as if we had offended his sensibilities by daring to go to a fun place for a while for fun.

And make no mistake, he was AGAINST fun of and kind, in any form and especially not in HIS country.

Though he was originally clean-shaven, in my mind he begins to take on the aspects of a 40-year old man with a handle-bar moustache. The lore attributed to this caricature of a mean guard lives in a former coal town and drives an ugly old beater, has a small white-ish gray house with dirty aluminum siding. As Adam, one of my fellow travelers put it, "That is a man who only gets one day off every three weeks, and on that day his wife has him do 'errands.'"

We four were asked to stop off at the border crossing office and then, after a short conversation with an officer who had an amateur interest in linguistics, we were on our way!

Needless to say the rest of the 12 hour drive was punctuated with rehashings of the first border guards cartoonish monologue. As we told it again and again it morphed from being spoked by the guard to having the voice of Joe Pesci and, after a while, the voice of Matt Damon talking in a Bawstan accent.

We arrived at our destination, an express hotel on the damp outskirts of Charlotte, North Carolina. We dropped our bags in the rooms and headed to a local eatery, not ten steps from le grande foyer of the hotel. The eatery was well known to the man behind the counter, our chill innkeeper.

Ichiban.

Ichiban. That name will live on in the hearts of we four. Live on in our minds. Live in our minds and hearts and taunt us from the dark corners of our psyche.

This was a chinese buffetorium, a combination of a prison cafeteria and a low-class buffet.

While time and progress may have marched on for the rest of the world, Ichiban remained unchanged in the dark, dark depths of the early 90's renovation that formed it's armour, the red faux pleather seats slick with years of sweat and beer spills.

One of the "dishes" served by Ichiban was called "wheast." "Wheast." The little placard above it did not describe it's origin, and I did not ask for fear of the answer. It looked of a yorkshire pudding crossed with an apple fritter, and under the heat lamp it glowed. Or sweated. Near it was Italian style chicken. Onion rings. Pudding.

For $10 after a 12 hour drive, it was certainly something that hit a spot. Maybe not the spot, but for something to relieve our cravings it certainly took care of that with only a minimum impact to the total life span of the four gentle sirs who partook that night.

Good times were had by all. This blog post will likely be going up when we arrive in Florida to our house, if only because we don't have internet at the hotel. More will follow!!

Pictures of My Family & "I Never Look Classy: A Florida Travelogue In Thirty Three Parts: Part 1: Terminal Atrocity" And Then Also This is My 200th Blog Post!!! Woooo!

2011-11-15T16:58:00.001-08:00

I was out with family a few days ago and I took a couple pictures of my Great Uncle John, Great Aunt Janet and my cousin Lucy. As well my dad and myself, which you saw above. Here are a couple of the pictures!

--

Regarding the other project that I've been working on, since the first time on the scale I have so far lost 5.2 pounds! Exercise pays off, so I'm going to be keeping it up while I'm away by hitting up the pool we have in our house. Status will updated on that as we go!

--

So here we are. Less than 12 hours before I leave for Florida. This is the first part of my travelogue detailing my month long journey down to the southern USA. We'll be leaving tomorrow at 7am and I'll be picturizing the entire process!

So pay attention to this blog to all my friends and family and you'll get to see how things are going!!

Day Three Breakdown

2011-11-09T21:27:00.000-08:00

Here are some pictures from when Mel was on her jetski! And other people on jetskis too!

So this past few days I've been counting down to when I'd be starting up at the gym again. I'm making a serious effort to lose some weight. Right now I'm just sticking on the elliptical machine which has long been my favourite. After only three days I've noticed a big improvement in how long I can tolerate on the machine.

This is a segment of this blog that I am going to be continuing for the next little while. I think that at the end of the next six months I'll reveal what my starting weight was, and what my ending weight was, and what the results in between were.

Here we go.

Day 1: 2.1 miles in 40 minutes.

Day 2: 2.6 miles in 45 minutes.
Day 3: 2.9 miles in 45 minutes.

Zero and Zero

2011-11-06T20:15:00.000-08:00

Here is a picture of my face which currently included an unkempt beard. This beard has an expiration date. Sometime next thursday, when I arrive in Florida, this beard will be GONE FOREVER. Or, for a while at least.

Zero and Zero. We'll see how it goes.

Minus One and No Change

2011-11-06T12:31:00.001-08:00

It should be an interesting day. I'm going to be starting my travelogue with a nice self-portrait, my first since growing a beard. That will come a little tonight. Beards ahoy!

Minus Two and Unknown

2011-11-05T17:41:00.000-07:00

I'm going to be heading down to Florida for a month or so and I leave in a couple of weeks! While I'm away this is going to function as sort of a travelogue so that people can see what I am up to while I am there. I'm probably going to be doing some photoshoots with local models in Florida as well, so keep your eyes peeled out for that too. Enjoy!

Minus Three and Four Fourty One

2011-11-04T20:46:00.000-07:00

"Foris Inamorata"

Here are a few new photos from a warm day at the beach with Mel!

Gourmandise

2011-07-28T21:37:00.000-07:00

More sweet treats of pictures!

Zapomniałeś Zdjęcie

2011-07-27T21:41:00.000-07:00

I found a copy of the same polish fashion magazine that I found the gasmask pictures in, but this issue is from the 70's! It was behind the couch at my cottage. Here are a few of the pictures from inside!

Cytrusowych

2011-07-25T16:57:00.000-07:00

Dinner!

2011-07-23T19:55:00.000-07:00

Dinner!
__________________

Dinner was delicious and cooked by my dad. Scalloped potatoes and roast beef. A beer goes with that. Dessert was a bowl of vanilla ice cream with blueberries, and a glass of cranberry juice, lemon-lime soda and a few mint leaves! Refreshing!

Delicious!

2011-06-26T17:59:00.000-07:00

Strawberries are in season! Tasty!

Abstractions

2011-06-09T09:04:00.000-07:00

Three new series of photos starring Sara Mitich! It was awesome to work with her on these pictures. We had access to a bunch of neat sweaters made by a family friend and we figured we may as well model a few of them!

Thanks to Sara for modelling and thanks to Lorraine for knitted such neat sweaters.

Knitted Things

2011-05-25T20:13:00.000-07:00

Yay!

Taniec i romantyczna

2011-03-08T22:06:00.000-08:00

"Piekna niebieska sukienka."

On the newsstand I saw this really neat polish fashion magazine. It had some killer pictures of post apocalyptic stuff. Here are the pictures from the main photoshoot inside!

Tańczący z wilkami

2011-03-08T22:01:00.000-08:00

Kiedy jest nasza kolej?

I have a new website!

2010-07-22T21:58:00.000-07:00

I may still post things here, but for the next little while at least, I'll be putting focus into said website.

Oolau.com

Cheerio.

Darcie Darcie Darling Dear

2010-05-09T21:42:00.000-07:00

A few more from the recent shoot with spike and Nskm.

More to come!

Murphy, Murphy Darling Dear

2010-05-05T20:07:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time, you see nearly a year.

Let's get this shizzle on the rizzle. Lot's of stuff done since last time. GET READY FOR SOME AWESOME FUCKING SHIT YEEEAEAHAHAH!!!!

First up, Spike and Nksm.

Cardboard Video Player

2009-07-16T07:56:00.001-07:00

This is my answer to the ipod/phone. YAAAAY.

Camera Test One

2009-07-16T07:52:00.000-07:00

First attempt at motion tracking. Did PRETTY good.

SWAT FIles

2009-07-08T07:09:00.000-07:00

Production photos from the short film "SWAT Files."

Joel as the Sniper.

Jeff as the Front Man.

Trevor as the Shock Trooper.

Slater as the Captain.

A Sunny Day

2009-07-06T11:36:00.000-07:00

Amazing Amanda allowed me to... uh... actuallize her... actuality in a... Man. Alliteration ain't always applicable :P

Amanda was down in the Hamiltonia for a day or so, and here is a photo (or two) from that.

There was Fire in the Sky That Night

2009-06-20T17:50:00.000-07:00

There was fire in the sky that night, my friends.

There was malice in the air.

Embers and hot ash completely engulfed us

The battlefield is treacherous, beware.

Boxcar Social

2009-05-05T14:10:00.000-07:00

A few friends of mine riding around on my latest invention.

Into the Dark

2009-04-29T14:59:00.001-07:00

Tasha Whyte in a companion peice to "Fade to Black."

Beattie

2009-03-13T18:03:00.001-07:00

So You're a Poor College Student! Ep. 4

2009-02-27T07:31:00.000-08:00

A bit late update this here episode, but here you go. Episode four, Corned Beef and Hash Browns!

So You're a Poor College Student! Ep. 3

2009-01-06T18:22:00.000-08:00

Another fine deal on a fine meal.

A Defender From the Cold

2008-12-22T21:43:00.000-08:00

The Blizzard of '08

2008-12-22T21:40:00.000-08:00

So You're a Poor College Student! Ep. 2

2008-12-13T21:24:00.000-08:00

Episode two of my new show.

Enjoy the cheap eats :)

So You're a Poor College Student!

2008-12-04T22:26:00.000-08:00

So I've begun a new cooking show which I call "So You're a Poor College Student!"

This is the first of many episodes to come :P

Hennas Abound

2008-11-05T21:51:00.000-08:00

At a recent convention, there was a henna artist who was drawing on people. A couple of my friends decided to get drawn on, and these are the results :D

Keep in mind I did NOT draw these. I only took the photos afterwards.

Companion Pieces

2008-10-20T20:43:00.000-07:00

The two subjects together, with the double set of wings on Tasha's back.

Mechanics of Flight

2008-10-20T20:42:00.000-07:00

The companion drawing drawn on Anthony's back.

Music of Wings

2008-10-20T20:39:00.001-07:00

Finally breaking the single word titles eh? That only counts for PHOTOGRAPHY though, this is more BODY ART I happened to take photos of.

Speaking of art on bodies, this was drawn on Tasha just a few days ago. She had mentioned having wings drawn, and so I came up with a design and drew it :)

Veal-ha

2008-10-12T21:08:00.001-07:00

Lionsire

2008-10-12T21:02:00.000-07:00

Brick

2008-10-12T21:00:00.000-07:00

Alexander

2008-10-12T20:58:00.000-07:00

Wrought

2008-10-09T20:00:00.000-07:00

Mobile

2008-10-09T19:59:00.000-07:00

Roll

2008-10-09T19:58:00.000-07:00

Sliver

2008-10-09T19:56:00.000-07:00

Hidden

2008-10-06T19:14:00.001-07:00

Another with Alishia, sitting at her computer.

Stay

2008-10-06T17:38:00.000-07:00

The first official sort of photo-shoot type deal with the new camera.

Alishia and me were sitting around having just finished a shoot at her barn. This is a resultant photo of her getting sick of her picture being taken :P

Groove

2008-10-05T18:07:00.000-07:00

Groove. John Groove.

Bite

2008-10-01T19:41:00.000-07:00

Aren't I so subtle?! The title is a metaphor?!?

Get it!?

Blah to artsy names for things :P

My New Camera is Awesome

2008-10-01T19:00:00.000-07:00

Ditto.

New camera, a Canon Rebel XSi.

I like it :)

Happy Birthday Steph :)

2008-09-25T19:03:00.001-07:00

This is Steph as a pirate.

Jack and Laura Number Two

2008-09-24T10:44:00.000-07:00

Jack is sweaty, wants ice cream.

Jack and Laura Number One!

2008-09-23T21:21:00.000-07:00

A new totally bland comic strip, starring Jack and Laura.

I wonder where it will go!??!

Post Number One Hundred Fifty

2008-09-23T10:48:00.000-07:00

Woooo.

Cute dude to boot.

Final Test Video

2008-09-13T17:11:00.000-07:00

Here is the final test video for the camera mount.

It's not a full test, most just a video to see what I could see with the camera.

The result? TOTALLY FUCKING AWESOME.

My father who had the idea to use the bike rack for the mount is a genius.

Resultant Test Videos

2008-09-12T16:03:00.000-07:00

There here are the two videos that resulted from the camera mount. I think they look good!

Camera Mount

2008-09-10T19:23:00.000-07:00

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARrrrrfffhhggaaaaaa....

I like my new self built car mount :)

Awesome Fucking Photos

2008-09-07T21:32:00.000-07:00

Basically I was vaguely drunk and walking around the downtown area of our city waiting for the bus.

This photos are the result :D

Fade to Black

2008-08-21T16:32:00.001-07:00

Jackson, my friend, looking all suave in his black suit.

I figured I'd take some more photos in the continuing series of my friends.

Drawn, As If From Memory

2008-08-15T21:31:00.000-07:00

Once again, I figured I'd draw something. Also figuring it's been a while since I've drawn ON anyone, and Tasha here specifically, we opted for that.

It's not hard drawing on someone, especially somewheres with so many muscles that move so often, but Tasha did a good job staying entertained by a movie while the drawing was happening.
The whole process took about three or so hours, with several breaks to move around and grab some lunch, all done in permanent marker, as with the rest of them.

The photos afterwards were something that I've been meaning to get back to, black and white. Tasha and the drawing together look beautiful, methinks.

Thanks to Tasha for getting drawn on and being in photos :D

Groove Happy

2008-08-13T21:04:00.000-07:00

You guys say draw stuff, so draw stuff I am.

Here's another of me, this time, happy.

Groove Angry

2008-08-08T18:08:00.000-07:00

There was a party I was going to go to, and it was uncerimoniously cancelled. This is my reaction.

Random drawing, since that seems to have won the current poll.

Fun Fun Fun in the Sun Part 2

2008-07-23T20:10:00.000-07:00

MORE PARK PHOTOS.

There was a tree, and the lighting underneath it was perfect. I didn't use and reflectors, or white screens or anything, underneath that tree, it just happened to be awesome.

So was Katrina :D

In other matters, the poll is almost done, and seeing as the overwhelming favour was for "The Ladies" I'll be posting some MORE photos of them in the next week or two.

Then? Back to drawing on some people, then maybe some other types of photography :)

Fun Fun Fun in the Sun

2008-07-23T19:58:00.000-07:00

MORE PARK PHOTOS.

This time with returnee Katrina looking super rad in Gage park on a sunny day. That's why with the sun and the fun :P

All in Pretty Branch- AH!! VAMPIRE!!!

2008-06-26T20:07:00.003-07:00

There is a local park near my house, and until a couple days ago I'd never been to it. Steph was chasing myself and another friend Tasha (eaten) through the park for quite some time.

Shortly before this photo was taken, she bit me in the jugular, but I managed to throw her off before she finished me. Wiping the blood from her jaw, she growled at the camera as she saw the sun was starting to come up. That's when I snapped the photo.

Thanks a lot to the sun for stopping Steph from killing me. And to Steph for being in the photo.

All in Pretty Branches Three

2008-06-26T20:07:00.002-07:00

There is a local park near my house, and until a couple days ago I'd never been to it. Steph and I and our another friend Tasha (not pictured) ended up at the park for quite some time, running around taking photos.

The strange brick area is where these photos were tooken.

Thanks a lot to Steph for looking pretty in these here photos.

All in Pretty Branches Two

2008-06-26T20:07:00.001-07:00

There is a local park near my house, and until a couple days ago I'd never been to it. Steph and I and our another friend Tasha (not pictured) ended up at the park for quite some time, running around taking photos.

Near a fountain in the park there is a gnarled tree that Steph found. This batch of the photos we actually took INSIDE the tree, which is entirely super radical.

Thanks a lot to Steph for looking pretty in these here photos.

All in Pretty Branches

2008-06-26T20:07:00.000-07:00

There is a local park near my house, and until a couple days ago I'd never been to it. Steph and I and our another friend Tasha (not pictured) ended up at the park for quite some time, running around taking photos.

At the park there is this somewhat strange brick sitting area which we took advantage of, as well as a hugely old tree. The old tree photos can be seen here obviously..

Thanks a lot to Steph for looking pretty in these here photos.

Escape From Your Voice

2008-06-01T13:40:00.000-07:00

This batch of photos didn't turn out how I wanted. That said, what I ended up with was different from what I wanted, and no less interesting. So I got a bonus shoot out of it, with a cool idea still in reserve :)

Thanks to Alishia, as always, for being a great subject.

Girl in a Room

2008-05-28T13:18:00.000-07:00

The other half of the photos with Katrina, this time inside, with the Leather Power Chair.

Hopefully soon we can do some a bit more summery, now that the weather doesn't suck.

My Dad

2008-05-21T18:47:00.000-07:00

My Dad, Popz as we call him, is strong. I never really thought about it, but it's true. He's smoked for 42 years, and has never got cancer or sick because of it. His blood doesn't carry oxygen properly, and has an oxygen content so low, it would have killed a lesser man. He had pneumonia for a year without knowing it.
In short, my Dad is stubborn. Far more than anyone I've ever met. And I love him.
He is no deadbeat dad. He took care of me and my brother. He loves us, and we love him, and I'm shocked that he managed to raise two perfetly reasonable kids so seemingly easily. I'm proud of him, and glad that he's my dad.
He's too damned stubborn to let something beat him. Which is good. He's got lots of stuff left to do.
He's made mistakes, but who doesn't. He is a good man, my father. One of the best.

Name in the Snow

2008-05-15T22:13:00.000-07:00

Well, it seems somewhat obvious that these photos are from some time ago, as there is still snow on the ground in these shots. That said, I think it works for these shots.

Here we have the lover-ly Katrina, in her gangsta style coat, looking sweet agains a huge RED WALL OF DOOOOOOOM.

I think I should shoot more outside, because these photos turned out really well. My favourite would probably be the second last one, the way the background is out of focus, and Katrina's expression are solid gold.

Thanks to Katrina for being in photos, you were awesome :D

Time to Fight Fire w/ Fire

2008-04-17T22:43:00.000-07:00

Here is part three in the "dude fighting a dragon" series. I'm pretty proud of the drawing I did here, though I'm not so happy with the dudes face, and the colouring so much.

Either way, still good. Maybe NEXT time I'll draw the dragon.

Faerie Queen

2008-04-16T22:05:00.001-07:00

Firstly, here is a new drawing, of my friend Mish, continuing my computer colouring. Her online name is related to faeries, so I threw some wings on there :D Hope she likes it.

Don't Play w/ Fire

2008-04-15T23:37:00.001-07:00

The dude returns, still fighting the dragon. Hopefully next time I might draw said dragon :P

Will he survive the frightful battle??!?! Maybe I'll make a poll about it... Enjoy!

Dude Fighting Dragon

2008-04-03T21:40:00.001-07:00

I was in a drawing mood earlier today and I ended up with a fierce looking dood with a sword. I drew it in pen, and I figured I'd try out painting the colour in photoshop. I think it turned out pretty rad :D

Decorus Ligatio Inamorata

2008-04-02T09:47:00.000-07:00

Inamorata in my closet, how can I say no?

These were done in the closet of the spare room at my house. Don't worry, the horsey wasn't hurt during filming :P

Decorus Ligatio Inamorata Part 2

2008-04-02T09:46:00.000-07:00

We didn't just take photos in the closet, oh no. We branched out to the leather super chair we've got in the spare room. She brought the umbrella, and I brought the camera :P

Personally, I think the last photo is the one that is my favorite, I love how the light from the window makes her and the photo glow. Cool stuff.

Decorus Ligatio Inamorata Part 3

2008-04-02T09:45:00.000-07:00

A pair of photos that Mel had the idea for. The word written on the inside of her lip, in case you can't read, is "ecstasy."